swapping chairs on the titanic

hi everyone,

my hope for all of us is that this summer is finds us all in a place of healing, of rest, and of hope.

I found some SAA (sex addicts anonymous) literature lying around the house, and there was a piece that really caught my eye- it was talking about the flip side of sex addiction, which is sexual anorexia. The article went on to say “going from acting out as a sex addict to acting in as a sexual anorexic is like swapping chairs on the titanic.

Made me think.

I have numerous seats on the titanic that are available to me at any given time- overspending, overeating, restrictive eating, overexercising, masturbation, complete shut down of anything and everything sexual, isolating, or losing myself for hours in the endless void that is the internet. Just to name a few.

If my sexually addicted partner has his seat booked, it is important that I know how many tickets I’m holding so I don’t go down with the ship.

Today we are both wearing life vests and are bobbing in life boats on a brief and much appreciated sea of temporary calm.

Incidentally, I never understood the end of Titanic. Why would they try to share that door? Or why not just take turns? Or find another door to lay on? Either way, it’s a great picture of how I can operate as a partner of a sex addict, hanging on in the freezing water to HIS door. Much better to find my own so we can hang on side by side.



5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dakota
    Jun 11, 2014 @ 21:06:54

    I am a partner – about to go through disclosure after a year. I was comforted to find you on the internet… Is there any advice or help you can offer? Any ideas on how to handle triggers? Can you help me understand “side by side?”


  2. rmarierun
    Jul 02, 2014 @ 16:09:08

    This is really really good! It is so easy to run to one addiction to counter act another when they both just make you eventually sink! Such a good reminder! :-) Your awesome girl!


  3. Anonymous SA Guy
    Aug 20, 2014 @ 03:51:56

    Nice analogy. Never understood the ending either.. Good to hear you’re both wearing life vests.. but that was over a month ago now. Hope you’re at least together in the same life boat or at least taking turns keeping afloat on the door. Just ran into this site but I’ll be sure to read more of it and give some of my own input (as a sex addict)


  4. missyrod
    Sep 15, 2014 @ 16:27:23

    This is a fantastic blog and very helpful for wives and partners of recovering addicts who feel so helpless. It’s undeniable how sex addiction could destroy lives, marriages and families. I’m married to a recovering PA who’s undergoing therapy thru GreatnessAhead and the power of sex and porn addiction is just unbelievable. Quitting is possible but consistency is another thing to battle with.


  5. Anonymous SA Guy
    Oct 14, 2014 @ 23:54:29

    Are you still there? It’s been 4+ months since the last post.. just curious how things are going. :-)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Twitter Updates

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 213 other followers

%d bloggers like this: